Scott Metalic
On March 6, 2009 at approximately 1:30 pm, I entered the Castleton Square Mall in Indianapolis, Indiana. I had taken a late lunch, hoping to run in & run out of the mall to return a pair of sunglasses to the Sunglass Hut kiosk. The person who works the kiosk was not there, so I waited. She returned about 15 minutes later & I returned the glasses.
When I returned to my car I noticed the old laptop bag I planned on dropping off at Goodwill was in the front seat. I quickly realized someone had broken into my car. But how? There wasn’t any broken glass. I peered in at the lever that labeled “Lock” on the passenger door of my Jeep & it was in the unlocked position. Did I leave it unlocked? No. As I walked to the passenger side, I saw a gaping hole where my lock used to be. It had been pushed in, giving the thief access to the mechanism that unlocks the door. Fucking great. I opened the door & took an assessment of what was taken…my old ass iPod, 60G brick that has been around the world with me for the last five years. A busted lock & a missing iPod. It sucked, but I could live with it. It gives me reason to get one of those fancy iPod touches with levels & all types of cool apps.
I saw the white mall security car snake through the lines of cars. I stood on the running board to flag down the security guard. As he got out the car, I instantly thought, this is exactly what Billy Bob Thorton will look like when he’s 65. His fingers were dressed with those types of gold rings that gamblers & shylarks wear. He had a gold framed tooth. My grandmother used to have one & I grew up wanting one. I immediately wanted to hear this guy tell me stories about how he used to hang out with Elvis until The King started doing smack. Instead of stories of women & drinking, I got condolences. I thanked him & told him that it could have been worse; it could have been my camera bag that I normally keep with me because all great photographers keep a camera with them at all time.
As I sat down at my computer & looked at the crappy Lotus Notes window, I thought to myself, “I am sure glad I didn’t…have….my camera bag…in….FUCK!” I wanted to throw up. I felt my spine turn into goo as my eyes darted back & forth between the four square feet of my of tan cubicle walls. My legs went cold & my stomach was soggy. I couldn’t breathe. My entire body was cold at this point & I felt like I was going to black out. I didn’t. I wanted to. I closed my eyes. I really would have loved to have been consumed in the growing dimness one gets from fainting or from passing out drunk. I wanted this to be one of those cool movie endings where I’d just experienced the next 28 years of my life. How awesome would that have been!? I would know to buy stock in Microsoft & not to ever go to the Castleton Square Mall. Nope. I opened my eyes to the same crappy Lotus Notes window & the same four square foot cube devoid of my camera bag.
Flash forward a month or so…I decided to make myself feel better about the loss of a few thousand dollars worth of equipment by making a book about it. I threw back & fourth a few ideas with friends & this one stuck. F AMPERSAND. Think f&ck you. I didn’t want it to just be random photographs of middle fingers so I offered the following two, two part questions & asked people to answer one or both.
Who are you giving the finger to & why?
Have you ever had anything stolen from you? If so, what?
F AMPERSAND won a People’s Choice Award in the Photography Book Now, self-published photography book contest. All of the photographs and stories can be viewed here:
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